Che Guevara's Useful Idiots

So apparently, there is a new Che Guevara movie coming out staring Benicio del Toro. He recently sat down for a interview about the movie and had only nice things to say about Che, that is until he stormed out of the room after a couple of tough questions about Che's history of violence. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the new movie highlights the softer, more thoughtful side of the left's favorite revolutionary hero. I disagree with this character assessment; but then again I'm not a snotty Hollywood insider, so I guess I'll never truly understand Che's meaningful contribution to world society. I mean honestly, why don't they just get on with it and make a movie about the Russian revolution..... glorifying Stalin?

To his credit, Che was an aspiring writer. In one passage of his journal he described his lust for war, saying he savored "the acrid smell of gunpowder and blood of the enemy's death." Other passages in his diaries included racist sentiments. For example, when describing the differences in the strife between "Europeans" and "the black," the supposedly progressive-minded Che wrote, "the black is indolent and fanciful, he spends his money on frivolity and drink; the European comes from a tradition of working and saving which follows him to this corner of America and drives him to get ahead. How this guy is a hero to the anti-war left is a total mystery.

The truth about Che is that not only is he a farcical tough guy and a murderous communist, but he wasn't even a successful revolutionary. At one point in his pathetic legacy, he even managed to drop his own gun and shoot himself in the face. However, he was good at killing people (especially those who's ideals were not in complete alignment with Stalin, much less Marx or Lenin.) Which is why Castro picked him to be his henchmen. Hundreds were reportedly executed on Che's watch, and that doesn't include the deaths incurred in the wars he was constantly trying to start. He was eventually stopped while attempting to instigate a conflict in Bolivia. He had been so accustomed to executing unarmed civilians in Cuba, that when he finally got into a real gun fight with a couple of trained Bolivian soldiers.....they turned him into hamburger meat. (God bless Bolivia!)

There is a silver lining to all this Che propaganda going around. That is to say, this communist revolutionary who dedicated his entire life to fighting capitalism has now become nothing more than a piece of merchandise. His name and likeness have become a quintessential capitalist brand, marketed for an ungodly profit. As Morpheous once said, "Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony." So let this be a lesson to all you sissy, college liberals out there: In the end, capitalism always wins.

So to bring my rant back to the beginning, we all lose when Hollyweird pinheads open their mouths about politics. I mean del Toro is an amazing actor (one of my favorites). But now every time I see him in a movie I'll have to wonder; is he a true communist or just a "useful idiot."